Mindfulness: The Power of Observing Instead of Reacting

How to use observation and awareness to cultivate relaxation instead of reaction

The day began with a beautiful sunrise as you sipped your morning coffee. You pulled out your phone to check up on the world and immediately saw some news and issues that you felt strongly about, as well as several of your friends reposting stories about people who were wronged in some way. 

Feeling disappointed and frustrated with people, you get ready to drive to work. As you pull on a sock, it tears through in the heel. And that was one of your favorite socks! You angrily finish getting dressed and get in your car. 

On the way to work, someone lingers on your bumper, and then rockets past you with a scornful glance, even though you’re already driving over the speed limit. You speed up and stay on their bumper a block or two until you turn off that road. 

When you get to work, you sit at your desk and realize your stomach is in a knot and you’re getting a headache. Whatever happened to that day that started with coffee and a pretty sunrise? 

Stopping to Observe Versus Reacting

The problems started when you saw things that you didn’t like, and you felt frustrated or disappointed. A mindful process might have included watching the sunrise instead of checking your phone. But even when you saw bad news on your phone, you could have observed how people feel compelled to share negative posts. 

You could have seen your desire to react and instead chosen to focus on the moment around you. Your coffee was still there, steaming and tasty, vying for your attention. Which would provide a better moment, the coffee or getting caught up in the negativity? 

What if, instead, you could quietly observe the things that cross your path while staying in the moment of what you’re doing and how you intend to move through your day?  

Most of us will notice the negative and immediately feel driven to respond and engage with it. That may be clicking a “like” or “retweet,” or matching the road rage of the other driver. The truth is that we’re wired to pay close attention to these negative, angry, or scary elements of the day. 

For millions of years, our ancestors survived because they could notice and react to dangers. Today, there are an unlimited number of these negative events, and you can be exposed to a worldwide spectrum of them instantly with your phone or computer. 

To learn to observe and not react means choosing to overcome that primitive emotional reactivity and using the thinking part of your brain to stay on track for your day. 

What Do You Feel, Right Now?

Paying attention to your senses is a surefire method for being mindful in the present and allowing observation instead of reaction. While you were outside with your coffee, when you checked the news, what did the coffee smell like? 

What sounds could you hear—perhaps birds singing or a dog barking excitedly in the distance? What was the feeling of the sun on your skin and body as you stretched out and moved after sleeping all night? 

When you were driving, and that driver raced past you, how did it feel to be driving your car? Do you remember how excited you were when you bought the car? Is it any less worthy of that today? What music were you listening to? Did you notice that the angry driver had his emergency flashers on? 

Maybe he was racing to the hospital because a loved one had been injured and was angry because you overlooked his flashers and didn’t move over for him. If you’re reacting and not observing, you won’t see those details! 

What’s Happening in Your Mind?

You can become the observer in your mind, viewing your reactions to something and intervening, saying, “Look at these feelings I’m experiencing and let them flow” instead of allowing the primitive mind to react and engage. 

You can observe your mind, remarking how news or developments you see on your phone are always exaggerated, and patiently take a moment to ask yourself what the sun feels like on your face. 

Take a moment to consider how lucky you are to be alive or to have a job to go to. Observe your thoughts and redirect them before they divert you down a negative path. 

Mindfulness in Every Moment of Every Day

What if you could stay in the moment, doing what you actively choose to do all the time? There is no reason you can’t; it just takes practice. A gratitude practice in the morning and briefly throughout your day helps teach your "ancient, must-react-to-everything” brain to instead observe and not react. 

Ask your senses for their help in bringing you back to the moment. Feel the breeze, smell the coffee, enjoy the sunshine, and see the potential of each moment to provide something beautiful or magical. 

Out of the Dark and Into the Light

Constantly perceiving and reacting to negativity can drag you down and make the world seem like a very dark place. Being mindful in each moment, observing and not reacting, even observing the process of your mind, allows you to enjoy each moment as you see the exciting possibilities the next moment may bring. Observe and watch how your mood and body respond when you’re in the moment! 

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