Using a Confidence Mindset to Navigate the Social Scene

How an approval-seeking or “pleaser” mindset can compromise your goals

You’ve taken a huge step forward by choosing the Revero program. You’re following a low-carb diet and implementing other healthy lifestyle recommendations. Staying true to your program goals may test you at times, but the outcome will be more than worth it. 

One of the more challenging aspects for many people involves fitting into your social scene when you may not drink or eat like you used to, may have a firm bedtime, and would rather do something healthy.

What happens when it’s Friday night and your pals invite you out for a few beers and some pizza? Having a plan or policy ahead of time will help you stay on your program while still enjoying your social life. Time with friends represents part of the life balance inherent in this program, and having fun is important. 

Let’s review different mindsets and how you can prepare ahead of time, and see how you can fit a fun social life and a successful wellness plan into your life!

The Power or Vulnerability of Mindset

It’s best to go into social situations with the mindset that you will succeed at having fun and staying true to your Revero diet. If you feel it will be too hard, it’s more likely to go that way. 

Here are some things you can do to set yourself up for success:

• Do a quick mental review of your progress, your “why” (the big deep reasons why you’re doing Revero), and your goals. Reminding yourself of these things can give you strength in situations that may challenge your resolve.
• It can also help if you remind some of your close friends, family, or colleagues of your progress, and ask them for their support (i.e. not to pressure you to cheat).

Explaining issues like insulin resistance can help, if you can do it succinctly, or just saying that you and carbs “don’t get along.” Let them know how disappointing setbacks and lapses are.

• Explain what you’re doing because it can help others understand and be supportive.

Workarounds

It might be possible to still say “yes” to your friends if you’re willing to drink a non-alcoholic beer and call yourself the designated driver, for example. If you eat something ahead of time and completely satiate your appetite, the pizza is easier to refuse, and you can still have fun with your friends. 

If they are good, supportive friends, they won’t give you a hard time about your choices but will just enjoy your company. If you’re “not quite there” with the confidence mindset, this workaround might work well for you, though you still have to be prepared to handle some peer pressure or friendly ribbing about your abstinence. 

It's also possible to have some foods prepared for this type of situation ahead of time. The retail version might be a bag of biltong, a beef jerky that can be purchased with or without fat. It’s usually available without MSG or other flavorings and is a South African way of preparing meat with mild spices and salt. It’s available on Amazon as well as in many brick-and-mortar stores. 

Ask First

One of the best ways to approach the social scene is to pick something you’d like to do that fits into your diet, fitness, and lifestyle Revero plan and invite friends to participate with you. If they don’t want to, do it anyway, so you can tell them how much fun it was later. Bonus points for sharing the fun on social media, so they see what they missed! Next time, your friends won’t want to miss out. 

Additional Tips

Share

When you’re attending a social gathering with friends, family, or coworkers, it’s good to remember that they probably don’t know your story. They don’t know how badly you feel when you eat carbs, too much sugar or alcohol, or the hard work you’ve put in to improve your lab values while healing your metabolism. 

If you share some of this information, they’re more likely to help you stay on track and not make you feel guilty when you abstain. Saying no is great, but explaining why is even more powerful. 

Don’t show up hungry

This is one of the keys—if you show up starving, it will be harder to make wise decisions. Particularly if you’re still working on stabilizing your blood sugar, you never want to be in a situation where you must eat something (anything) or have a hypoglycemic episode. Eat before going, so it’s more of a snacking experience. 

Bring something you can eat

If it’s a private gathering and not at a restaurant, ask if you can bring a dish (or if you’re comfortable with it, just bring one!) so that there is at least one thing that you know you can eat. 

Think before eating

If you consistently take an instant to think about what you’re about to eat before you eat it, you can stop yourself from lapsing. We often eat mindlessly, and this makes it hard to impossible to stick to a diet. 

Carry something around

If there is something you can eat or drink, keep your hands occupied with that. People are less likely to pressure you to eat or drink if your hands are full. 

Choose the best option available

What do you do if there are no Revero-approved foods, and you feel you must eat something? Get as close as you can. Yes, we say to avoid processed meats, but eating a hotdog without a bun, or a piece of salami or prosciutto rolled around olives and cheese is close. 

If nuts and cheese are the only approved foods, you might exceed your one-ounce per day limit, but that won’t be as harmful as eating other foods. 

Condiments and sauces are a trap

Remember that commercially made condiments and sauces almost always have seed oils, sugar, or corn syrup. Avoid these and you’ll thank yourself later. 

Answer with confidence

Don’t seem unsure, weak, or “willing to waffle” with your response. If you’re calm and direct, and say “No thank you” or “I’d prefer to have something else” others are less likely to try to badger you into eating things you’re avoiding.

Remember

If you’ve experienced lapses, it can help to bring up the memory. Think about how you felt physically and emotionally. The memory may help you politely say “No thank you” when you've been offered or pressured to eat something you shouldn’t.  

Alcohol isn’t your friend in this

Alcohol inhibits our ability to have willpower, so if there is a lot of forbidden food present, this might not be the best opportunity to enjoy a drink. You may need your resolve, so don’t let alcohol lower your inhibitions.

Ask for support

You can also message your coach ahead of time (or even during) and ask for advice on what to do so that you can stay on track.

It’s All in the Preparation

The importance of being mentally and physically ready in advance is a recurring theme. Prepare a plan to invite friends, prepare compatible foods and snacks you can eat on the go, and prepare your mindset. One of the best ways to build a confident mindset is to know you’re fully prepared, so don’t miss out on that step. 

Pay attention to your mindset, and try to build the confidence to stick with your plan and let others follow if they’d like. Avoid being unprepared, hungry, and in a pleaser mindset, as these are surefire ways to fall off the wagon with your program. 

With some planning and forethought, you can have fun, stay on your program, and reap the rewards.

You may want to write in your journal afterward, to record how it went and what you learned. If you were successful, record that as a win. If you fall short of that, record what happened as a learning point for the next time.